Welcome to My Hell...

Bah ha...

2009-01-17T09:15:29Z

*smacks hands together and walks away* I'm out.

Been A while

2008-10-07T14:56:03Z

So sorry I have not updated... not that most of you have noticed... Life has been...eh.

You get called worthless and see how you feel about things...

I'll say this much and then take my leave of you my attention starved fans ( If i have any that is )...

I know what you think and I hear what you say...

Say your right words...

Little Update

2008-05-07T14:55:28Z

Just letting everyone know that I'm still here and around :)

Disillusioned tendencies...

2007-06-26T02:56:01Z

Incase anyone tries to go look at my art...don't... It's all gone... Every last scrap of artwork... every last bit of hard work...gone...

*sighs*

I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point...

I do know that if I start a new gallery, I'll be using a different name...

I'll let you all know what I decide with-in the next few days...

<3

Amber

Silence is thy Name...

2007-03-30T20:35:00Z

     I held a silent funeral for you today. It was a private affair, only for me. I couldn't decide on what to wear, so I chose the obvious black in your honour. Forgive me for my lack of formalities as this was a Double Funeral today. I saw you laying there so peaceful and so serene where I saw the other in a state of anxiety and despair. How I wanted to hold you again as you told me everything and how I wanted the other to hold me as we talked of our future. But alas, I digress, this was a funeral and this is merely for me to have my final peace with the resting.

     How many of you can say the same...how many of you can so amazingly say that you would mourn with no one else around... I can... And who are you to judge how I feel or how I think about all of this...

     Pardon my little tirade, I got off topic...I think that perhaps I'll learn to cope with this somehow...will I ever visit your gravesite...your tombs, the final memory of how I remember you... I don't know yet... But, what I do know is that I'll bring you flowers once a year and I'll remember everything...

                         I had a silent funeral for you today...and I cried on both occasions...

...

2006-12-20T15:43:47Z

You are pathetic...

Ha! I dance in my Freedom!

2006-12-12T21:35:42Z

I move and I grind to the rhythem of life as it moves around me. Caressing me gently as I dance to the beat that I hear everyday and I lose myself in my thoughts. I could care less anymore what my mind and my heart scream...my spirit wants to dance in the star-lit night. Even now my soul screams for the movement of someone who wants to get to know me and fall for the beauty of the eyes that reveal the secrets of the universe themselves...

The Cosmos wish that they could show everybody else what they show me... I dance in the arms of the Gods who barely know those that have shown there devotion everyday of there life. Watch me move, watch me lose myself to the beat of your song and watch me fail to identify what you want the most from me...

I'll follow you to the end of the earth itself...dancing and losing myself all along the way...Let me scream, let me dance, let me moan in the ecstacy of the thoughts of disasterous desire for coursing in my veins...

I am the goddess of my own destiny...

I don't Get it ...

2006-12-11T17:33:41Z

I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with me...

I hate the fact that I love you and I hate the fact that you want nothing to do with me...

I hate the fact that I'm a self-loathing idiot who is plodding along in life with no purpose...

All I've ever asked for in this life is love...true love...

I had it, I sullied it...and now, I want that feeling back again...

I want to wake up knowing that someone truly wants me...

I want to go to sleep feeling your soul hold me...

Can you do that...please..?

I'm Done With You...

2006-12-06T20:37:47Z

Nope, not again...I'm not of conveniance, nor am I to be used...

Friend :

noun 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile

You tell me if that says ANYWHERE in it that a friend should just be used...should just be...

No, I need NO justification...

I'm to frivilous of a thing anyways...you can just find someone else to use...

Maybe they should be a shim...

I'm out...bye, see ya later, farewell, and all that jazz...

Blah...

2006-12-04T21:39:03Z

So, this crappy year is nearing an end...let's see, what has happened this year...

Good:
Graduated AIT
Got a Job
Drew alot...

Bad:
Lost Izzy
Found someone but was treated disdainly
My Birthday(Not going into it, y'all should already know)
Lost more friends than I care to divulge...

God...I hate this year... 07 better rock my socks off...

'Who invented the finger?'
Dane Cook

The Clock Ticks Life Away...

2006-11-27T16:46:37Z

The time slowly passes and further convinces me that the time draws near...

Time to be me and time to be you...

Run Rabbit Run...

Ha, but the rabbit is a fool and the rabbit knows not of the impending doom....

The clock strikes once for the life of a pauperous fool...

Bo

Even Angels Fall...

2006-11-24T22:29:50Z

You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.

She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

You laugh, you cry, no one knows why
Behold the thrill of it all...
You're on the ride
You might as well
Open your eyes

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall

So tell me, am I an angel..?

I've Fallen More than You Could Ever Know... You Should Read This

2006-11-24T17:40:59Z

I wanted you to learn something... I wanted to believe that I've had an impact on your life...alas...foiled again... *smirks lightly* So tell me, how can you sit in your shell of what you call a life and be so smug...so oblivious... Have I EVER been silent to you this long...? No, I have not... Yet, you think that you'll be able to make it better by saying sorry, k thanks bye...

Wrong...

Dead fucking wrong...

And if you think that it has to do with just Greg, you have another thing coming... That just made me think about a LOT of things...

For example...when everyone else and there god damned mother said fuck you...I stood by you...I've stood up for you, I've vowed to protect you...but what do I get...

I get shit on. Seriously, how do you expect me to stay silent when they are my friends too...

Also, don't try to JUSTIFY an action with something I've done... because not a god damned thing compares... Nothing...

So you know what...expect to get screamed at, called names, and everything..

Because I'm so close to being done with you... I can't even fathom it myself... And, if you think I don't have the willpower to do it... Well, you've got another thing coming...

Bo

o.o''

2006-11-22T23:03:10Z

I = o.o

...

2006-11-21T23:16:58Z

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I'm Just the Girl...

2006-11-21T04:49:15Z

I want to be the first one you see when you awaken and the last thing you remember when you close your eyes at night. I want to be the girl that is your everything and your nothing at the same time... I want you to remember why you love me and how you forgot me...

Most of all, I wish that I could be the girl that you loved the most and wanted in the worst of ways...

I wish that I could be your everything, but I understand that I can't do that... I know what my duty in life is now...

I want to support you as you travel all across the world...

I only want to learn how to love you...

Oh noes....

2006-11-20T00:34:37Z

So my beloved Colts lost... *sob* That's alright though, better now than later...

This Makes Me Think of You...

2006-11-15T20:40:10Z

You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were
I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way

Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today

There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself

There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
Let it shine

You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running
Until you deal with today

Shine - Plain White T's

No De Da!

2006-11-15T16:47:00Z

Ho hum, it hurts to think of everything in general... Mostly all I can think about is them...

Time for everyone to get an inside look at the relationships of the failed Bo...

I guess I'll start from the beginning...

7th Grade: I was new to the school and well... no one would really have me...but, my soon to be Best Friends' Best Friend at the time started dating me and that was a whole boatload of problems...
In the end, he left me and lost someone else...cheating on 2 people is harder than it seems...

8th Grade: I dated a good friend of mine... Jerry Hicks ^^ The whole year was amazing, but, he had decided that at the end of the year we should no longer go out. *sad*

Freshman year: For the better part of 3 months, I dated Jerry again... however, he broke up with me like 3 days before my birthday...
Later in the year, I met the most amazing and beautiful person in the world to me at the time...Cedric...my first love. I truly loved him...more than I think that even he knew. He was my first kiss, my first dance... My first love...

Sophmore Year: Me and Cedric were still together, albeit... he was in North Carolina, but still, I loved him... told every other guy off... That summer... he broke my heart...said he could no longer be with me on the basis that he was having visions of hurting me... I cried for days over that...

Junior Year: I dated a guy named Ben for a month...he was a mamas' boy and he left me to get ungrounded... Then, I went out with a Jock...*icky icky* for like 3 months... he accused me of cheating on him... i left him and went to a guy named Robert... He was my prom date... He left me because it was 'awkward' Ce La Vi'...

Senior Year: The summer right before, I started dating a guy named Randy...he wasn't ready for a girlfriend yet, so, I left him and met a guy named Bobby... He left me right before Prom... I then met Adam...dated a week before deciding that he wasn't ready to move on...

Summer after: I met Lee... I met him right before I left for Basic training... I gave myself to him... He was my first...not Cedric as many believe... but Lee... *sighs* Once I graduated Basic and went to AIT I met Israel(Izzy)... I left Lee for him. I loved him and had every intention of spending the rest of my life with him. I would have went anywhere he asked me...but, because of events that occured once I got home... he hates me now...

^^

2006-11-14T18:22:23Z

Werk is teh boring -.- I'm all caught up on the paperwork so.....yeah...

*sigh*

I miss you...

Truly...

I do...

Quick Update...

2006-11-13T21:32:29Z

Just a quick thing to say really quick-like:

I have yet to decide if I'm going active or not yet..soooooooo....dun' be confused or anything about that....

So...

2006-11-11T22:24:25Z

I think I know what I want in life.

I just need to take care of some things here at home.

Soon, however...I will say everything.

Especially to you will I say it all...

Wow...

2006-11-10T20:20:24Z

This song right now is just...wow...

I really hate myself right now...

Blah

2006-11-08T15:01:11Z

I just want this week to be over so I can relax this weekend.

Hmmm...

Gallery

God Broke the mold when he made this one I know
She's breath taking but so much more
She walks in the room your Lungs closed
Making you never wanna breath again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist froze
Is he faithful to her? Hell No
But she chose to be with him , shorty

Hook:
Tell me is it money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude
Has a whole wall of'em just like you
And Girl your just way to fine
Got to be treated as one of a kind, Girl
Use your mind
Don't be just another dime because

Chorus:
I can't take
Seeing you with him
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his Gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
Your just another priceless work of art
In his Gallery

Verse 2:
She's so confused
She know she deserves more (more)
Someone who will love and adore ('dore)
But his money is hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do, Girl
It's just a matter of time (Oh)
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine (Oh)
Your out the door and he's through with you

Hook:
Tell me is it money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude
Has a whole wall of'em just like you
And Girl your just way to fine (Oh)
Got to be treated as one of a kind, Girl
Use your mind (Oh)
Don't be just another dime

Chorus:
I can't take
Seeing you with him
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his Gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
Your just another priceless work of art
In his Gallery

Bridge:
Your a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your Beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like I do
Beautiful not just for show
It's time that someone let you know

Chorus:
I can't take
Seeing you with him
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his Gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
Your just another priceless work of art
(Ooh)
I can't take
Seeing you with him
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his Gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
Your just another priceless work of art
In his Gallery
In his Gallery

*laughs softly*

Just help me, somebody...I can't take much more...

I just wanted to tell you...you are beautiful, amazing, and hopefully...one day...you'll realize that about yourself...

I wish...I wish I could accept some things about myself...

But, I can't... not yet

For that, I'm sorry.

So please...forgive me...

sigh

2006-11-07T14:58:23Z

Why me... I'm so confused right now and I have no idea where to go right now...or for that matter...exactly what I should do...

He loves me...you love me... *claws at head* What the fuck am I supposed to do..?

Is this some sort of cruel joke by the gods from above..?

*sobs*

I can't take much more...I swear, one more thing and I'm going to join active....I swear to god...

At least then, I'll have some sort of purpose in life...

Someone...please help me...

Somebody...truly love me...please don't just say it...